Jazzisms: Quotes, jokes, etc. (It’s all anecdotal fun…… got any?)

“If you don’t like the Jazz Train, that’s ok, just let us know, and we’ll slow the train down, and THROW you off!!”
Rahsaan Roland Kirk

“Music is my mistress”
Duke Ellington

“Learn the rules (of arranging and composing), then, don’t be afraid to break them”
E. B. Coleman (arranger, composer, band leader, drummer) 1964

“What’s the difference between a drum solo and tennis shoes in the dryer?   None!”
Unnamed great jazz guitarist (whose initials are RJ) 2014

“Practice makes perfect”
George Weaver, drummer (explaining how he got so good so fast, 1964)

“Don’t worry, we know something that they don’t”
Dick Gibson, jazz entrepreneur, promoter (reacting to my frustration regarding relatively few people digging jazz, 1988)

Jazz Business: “to make a million, you have to start with two”
Ed Danielson, jazz DJ

“Old jazz DJ’s never die, they just… segue”
Ron Wesley, jazz DJ 1983

“The flute is easy to play....to a point….and that’s the point you’re at”
Professor John Duncan, Professor of Music, classical composer, applied flute instructor (explaining to me that I need to practice more, 1969)

“A quarter note gets one beat…….no matter who plays it”
E. B. Coleman, arranger, composer, band leader, drummer 1964

“If you don’t appear, you will disappear”
Billy Wallace, pianist (explaining to me why he never retired) 2003

“Jazz, is like a woman’s tongue…….”
Felipe Luciano, The Last Poets 1968

“What’s a jazz musician without a girlfriend?        Homeless!”
I forget where I heard this one. Circa 1980’s

“Just take the X&#%$@* horn out of your mouth!”
Miles Davis to John Coltrane after Trane told him that he gets so carried away during his solos,  that he “doesn’t know how to stop.” (as told by Elvin Jones)

“It don’t mean a thing, if it ain’t got that swing”
Duke Ellington

“I’ve been into jazz since before I was born”
Ron Wesley, jazz dj (whose father was a jazz musician)

Broadcasting:   “It’s not that hard, you just keep talking until you think of something to say.”
Lou Holtz, legendary football coach, and broadcaster